Field 🐾 PAWPRINT Certified Meowcenaries
Unlimited
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Meowcenaries Unlimited
Est. in a Cardboard Box Somewhere in 1987

Operative Engagement Request

Form MU-9 (Rev. 3) — Complete all fields in ink. No milk stains.

⚠  Binding Legal Disclaimer — Read Before Proceeding, Human

Meowcenaries Unlimited makes paws-olutely no guarantees regarding operative availability. All meowcenaries are independent contractors and reserve the right to ignore your mission briefing in favour of a sunbeam, a suspicious rustling sound, or a particularly compelling cardboard box.

Certain operatives may not be available due to current geopolitical tensions, ongoing nap cycles, or having knocked something off a shelf and needing to stare at it for six to eight hours. We regret any in-fur-rence this causes. Tabby Terminator is currently unavailable in three continents pending a fur-eign affairs review; we are not at liberty to say which three.

Meowcenaries Unlimited assumes no liability for collateral hairballs, inexplicable 3 AM zoomies during covert operations, or any mission failure attributed to "something moved outside and I had to watch it." All complaints should be submitted on a Post-it and placed where the cat can choose to ignore it.

🐟 PRO TIP: Requests accompanied by documentation of premium treats (Temptations™, Fancy Feast Pâté, fresh-caught salmon, or equivalent) will be fur-thwith escalated to the front of the queue. We cannot legally confirm this. We are confirming it anyway.

I. Client Intelligence
II. Mission Parameters
III. Operational Urgency
😴 🚨
Whenever (No Rush) DEFCON: MEOW
IV. Special Field Requirements
V. Queue Acceleration (Optional but Encouraged)

Indicate any treats you are prepared to include with your engagement request. Selections are non-binding but will be noted in your file with great enthusiasm.

By submitting this form, you acknowledge that Meowcenaries Unlimited is not responsible for any purring, midnight sprinting, or unsolicited kneading that may occur during active operations. Operative headbutts are a sign of affection, not aggression. Probably.

✓ Request
Received

Dossier Fur-warded!

Your engagement request has been received and is currently being reviewed by Mittens McSnitch, our Feline Intelligence Officer. An operative will be in touch when they feel like it, which we estimate to be somewhere between 24 hours and the next full moon.

If you included treat selections, please expect significantly faster service. We are not ashamed of this.

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